vanessadoula

I believe that I have the ability to help other women find their inner strength. I think it is essential in birth. I also believe that we, as women need to take active roles in birth, not just our own, but every woman's birth. We need to reassert the value that woman have in giving birth, and we need to reestablish respect for birth. I believe that I need to help women give birth, not only to help them, but for me to learn with each birth that women are strong, beautiful, courageous, and ultimately the link to life. I think that believing in this idea  can help each woman, no matter what her self image see that she is important. I can help a pregnant woman to see that she is part of something bigger than herself when she gives birth, and by being part of it, she gains strength from it. I think that every woman deserves to feel empowered - and what better way to help women than to be a doula.

I think the best way to describe why I chose to be a doula is for me to describe my journey to becoming a doula, and a little about my background.

I have always been drawn to helping people. I have had a particular interest in medicine and healing, but not in the traditional sense. I found genetics to be fascinating, but hated the tedious measuring of chemistry. I loved studying anything that told me more about myself and humanity in general, but I wasn't decided on a career in high school or early college. I felt that I needed to learn by living.  I needed the future to remain wide open.

After I became pregnant, my view on life and the world was changed. I knew that I had to organize my priorities and goals, and that my interactions were about to seriously change. I needed to know that I was going to make a difference, and it didn't matter how big or small it was, but it did matter how important that difference was. I needed to be in a nurturing environment, and I needed to feel some self respect!

During my pregnancy, I went through a tumultuous torrent of emotions. (Maybe the hormones had something to do with it.) It led me to search myself deeply for meaning and direction. I needed to have a purpose.  I learned that I had to tap into that inner strength that we as women all have, and as a woman becoming a mother, I needed it more than I ever had. I found that I not only had the strength to carry myself through the pregnancy, I had the ability to find what I needed and ask for it. One of those things was a doula. At the time, I didn't even know the word doula. I just knew that I was going to need someone who could be there for me to get me through labor who could handle my fragile emotions, and not pacify me, but accept me. I needed someone. In looking for labor support, I found the whole concept and idea of a doula. I felt like it was a godsend.

After Westley's birth, I needed to adjust to life as a mother, but I thought that perhaps I could be a doula. It was a very tenuous thought at first. I was thinking,"Could I really be a doula?" Then, I decided to do some research, and found that it fulfilled my desires for a job, but additionally, it encompassed my idea of what a strong woman can be. I was thinking,"Do I dare become a doula?" During the winter, and spring, I began to hear her stories of what births were like. Even in the most dark of circumstances, I could see a way to bring a light to it.  I said to myself,"I want to be a doula." After more research and time and the support of friends and most importantly Tim, I knew that it was time. The first time I made an effort to get training, things didn't progress as quickly as I wanted, but I felt something driving me forward. When I pursued some other job options, every door was closed to me, and I kept gravitating toward anything to do with doula work. I felt that I needed to do it. I finally said to myself,"I AM becoming a doula." That was all it took.

But what it took, was my all!

Since becoming a doula, I have witnessed many different types of birth.  I've seen completely natural birth with no medical interventions, and I've seen inductions ending with c-sections.  Each birth was a miracle.  I have been honored each time I greet and welcome new life into this world.  I realize that I've not only been exposed to a wonderful variety of ways babies can be born, I have been introduced to many different cultures and ways of looking at birth.  Each way opens my mind to embrace the beauty of birth, even in it's most complex and unusual circumstances. 

With the birth of my second son, I experienced home birth from a primary perspective.  I was able to experience my own birth in my own environment with support and love from people that I chose to support me.  I was able to connect with myself as a birthing woman who was fully empowered.  My home birth brought my family much joy as we welcomed Benjamin into the world.  He was born peacefully into the water and looked to me with knowing eyes as I brought him to my chest.  We were unhurried and allowed to bond as nature intended.

Personally, having experienced a home and a hospital birth, I can appreciate the differences.  I can also understand why women choose both for different reasons.